11 ways to say no (with thanks, guts and grace)

Anger has a taste.

It’s bitter, chalky and anything eaten after it just tastes bad.

It lingers in your mouth long after you didn’t say no, but wanted to.

It’s a drop of poison that no vitamin, exercise regime or organic diet can do anything about. Learning how to say no is the only remedy.

Fact: Learning how to say no with guts and grace is a delicious skill.

Learning it could save your life.

Learning to say no doesn’t mean that life will be devoid of love, acceptance, security and companionship. BUT we’ve had a steady diet of such thoughts that seduced us into believing so. A closer examination reveals the true nutritional content of those beliefs.

When we refuse to say no, it is us that keeps life stagnant and flat. In reality, learning to say no means willing to risk being fully alive – to actually have the connection and intimacy that we crave in the ways destined for us. It means that we are nourished and in return can nourish.

We are socialized to be nice, learn to say yes to please others, avoid saying no to please others, believing adamantly that we control how others feel. We hurt ourselves in the ways that we fear being hurt by others.

Ironic isn’t it?

When you can’t say no, but want to, it is you that abandons yourself, it is you that denies yourself acceptance, it is you that refuses to show love, loyalty and honour to yourself.

It wouldn’t hurt a bit if everyone understood a little Jung, to see that we are all just shadows and mirrors for one another.

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Worldwide Property: Complimentary Luggage part deux

“Stop that! I don’t like it when you talk to me that way!”

Wow… it feels interesting to yell that out loud.

“I said stop it! I ‘m warning you!”

I’ve got my finger out and I’m ready to pounce. But what if they continue?

“If you don’t stop, I’ll get someone to make you stop!”

So I have some power… but only to threaten with the power of others… no. This isn’t going to work…

I’m going back. Waaaay back to when I was in grade 4 and 5. Back to the days where I could not stand up for myself because I did not know how to. Oh, I was told to stand up for myself. I was told to say things and do things that ultimately did not resonate with me. And, to this day, if things don’t resonate with me, I can’t do them. Ok, I can but I choose not to because I don’t believe in their value.

 I was not one to fight. I hit my brother on occasion and we would fight but only because he was smaller than me and I knew I could take him. But peers? No way. They not only had the physical advantage but the psychological as well (that happens with low self-esteem, btw). So I did not want to fight. But I’ll tell you what I was one to do: hug. Oh man, I could hug anyone for any reason. Why? Because hugging filled me with a feeling of comfort and love, something I could and to this day, can never get enough of. Continue reading