Committed Eye

Wow.

Seriously? Wow

I just can’t get over it. A few months ago, there was not much of a difference. But now?

Holy Jeez!

I can’t believe how many beautiful women there are walking around. And more than that: how many are looking at me.

ME! That’s  something I’m not used to… (believe it or not). *Ahem* either way, this might become a problem. I’d better be careful.

Hold up. What am I being careful about? What am I going to do – start hitting on everyone? Start harassing people? I do have self control. In fact, there’s nothing for me to be careful for… only… my eyes can’t stop moving!

Just as soon as one leaves my vision, another one enters. This is ridiculous! And why do you all have to dress so bloody good! Can’t you just cover yourselves up? All this cleavage and midriffs…. What’s a poor boy to do?

And the absolute worst thing about all of this is that it’s all look and don’t touch. Oh yeah, it’s perfectly legal to temp us guys, who walk around pumped full of testosterone and we can try to do something about it. But for those of us who can’t do something about it… we just get to suffer.

Ok, well, it’s not that I can’t… I have a mouth and we speak the same language. It’s that I won’t because… well, because I’m with someone.

I guess that’s what makes this so frustrating. It’s hunting season and I’m a vegetarian.

How am I supposed to cope with the fact that I’m not sleeping with the millions, literally upon millions of beautiful women?

Ok, maybe that’s not the whole story.

I’m with someone now. But how do I know that the person I’m supposed to be with isn’t out there? Baring her midriff?

If we were in one of those Arabic countries where women were forced to cover themselves from head to toe – there wouldn’t be a problem. They’ve eliminated temptation.

Ah, so that’s it – I’m struggling with the temptation of someone else.

And it’s absolutely everywhere.

Good, I’ve narrowed down the issue past “I want to sleep with everyone” to an actual feeling. So how do I reconcile with this without losing?

I’m in a committed relationship. It’s mostly pleasant and the days it’s not, I figure things out and make it pleasant. On that note… what exactly am I being tempted by? Is it looks? A little. Is it our good friend diversity? Yes, but even more than both of those – it’s something that I can’t quite have but something my mind always has running around:

Fantasy.

As immature as it sounds, there’s very little escape from the movies I play in my head. And it takes a lot of concentration to keep focused on my reality when I’m bombarded with so much incredible stimulus. And fantasy is how progress is made, right? I think of something I want, I get my act together and get it and then I’m on to the next thing; because stagnation is death for me.

Is this how I want to live my relationship – always looking for the next thing? How long will this last? I could meet 20 or 30 girls… they will all be relatively similar. Yes, their taste in music and politics and art will change but they will all be human’s with desires, dreams and personalities. I’m not saying all girls are the same, but we’re all people, right? It’s more than that: My partner and I share so much in common and I like that. That’s really important to me. I once read that similarity is the second highest factor when it comes to success in relationships (the first is spatial distance; meaning the less distance between us the better).

So does it come down to “what do I want”?

If so, well, I have what I want.

Wow. That’s really powerful to say out loud.

Realizing that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be with exactly the person I’m supposed to be with is a very comforting thought. But how do I hold onto this thought in order to dissuade my temptations?

What would happen if I chose to act on one of my ludicrous impulses? No doubt, I would lose her. That is a distressing thought. Sure, the fantasy kicks in with the new girl being cool and all but in reality, it took me a while to find my partner and I really don’t want to let her go. So what I’d like to do is feel really grateful for her in my life. Yeah, I like that. That way, when I look at other girls, they can be a reminder to me of how lucky I am to have scored such a great girl. That way, I’m not resentful of all the stimulus that comes across my path and I stay focused on her.

Yeah! Alright, ladies, bring on the bikinis!

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