11 ways to say no (with thanks, guts and grace)

Anger has a taste.

It’s bitter, chalky and anything eaten after it just tastes bad.

It lingers in your mouth long after you didn’t say no, but wanted to.

It’s a drop of poison that no vitamin, exercise regime or organic diet can do anything about. Learning how to say no is the only remedy.

Fact: Learning how to say no with guts and grace is a delicious skill.

Learning it could save your life.

Learning to say no doesn’t mean that life will be devoid of love, acceptance, security and companionship. BUT we’ve had a steady diet of such thoughts that seduced us into believing so. A closer examination reveals the true nutritional content of those beliefs.

When we refuse to say no, it is us that keeps life stagnant and flat. In reality, learning to say no means willing to risk being fully alive – to actually have the connection and intimacy that we crave in the ways destined for us. It means that we are nourished and in return can nourish.

We are socialized to be nice, learn to say yes to please others, avoid saying no to please others, believing adamantly that we control how others feel. We hurt ourselves in the ways that we fear being hurt by others.

Ironic isn’t it?

When you can’t say no, but want to, it is you that abandons yourself, it is you that denies yourself acceptance, it is you that refuses to show love, loyalty and honour to yourself.

It wouldn’t hurt a bit if everyone understood a little Jung, to see that we are all just shadows and mirrors for one another.

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